It started with an early morning phone call: “Can you believe it? Ryan Braun just got popped again for steroids.” There was a distinct tinge of disappointment at the other end of the line. A mixture of shock and awe. How could he be so STUPID? How could a superstar like Braun who previously got busted (and then technically exonerated) use steroids AGAIN in light of him being a target with a giant bullseye on his back and subject to frequent drug tests?

Duh! Ryan Braun used steroids to help him put up MVP numbers. Those numbers got him a $105M contract extension. His 65-game suspension will cost him about $3M. Let’s do the math together:

105
– 3
____
102

For those who majored in chemistry and not economics, that’s a net gain of $102M. That’s $102,000,000 for those of us who need to see all the zeroes to feel sufficiently inadequate. Even with the 65-game suspension, something tells me that Ryan Braun won’t be losing any sleep over his decision to continue using steroids. In terms of ‘movin’ on up’, a premeditated decision to use anabolic steroids paid off for him BIG-TIME.

It’s no different for any other athlete. Despite a history of steroid use that includes a positive (anonymous) test for steroids in 2003, Alex Rodriguez signed a 10-year contract with the New York Yankees in 2007 worth a guaranteed $275 Million Dollars. In 2009, he admitted to using steroids, begged for our forgiveness and asked us to “judge him from this day forward.” With that admission, his Hall of Fame hopes were all but extinguished. But the public is not the Baseball Hall of Fame. We judge our athletes FIRST on their PERFORMANCE. Character, on the other hand, is somewhere further down the list.

With $275M guaranteed, Alex could have made the decision to go au naturale and watch his numbers plummet, but that’s not what MLB and the Yankees (and their fans) want to see. You see, Alex Rodriguez simply wanted to please his fans and his employer. After 3 MVP awards and a career of steroid-padded stats, A-Rod wasn’t going to take any chances: He wanted to earn his keep, lest he overtake Carl Pavano as #1 on the Yankees list of all-time salary busts.

You see, there is little reason for an aspiring athlete to NOT take steroids. Without steroids, most athletes will never achieve the $105M contract extension or the $275M free agent contract. It’s a calculated risk with a huge payoff and very little downside, but it doesn’t start in the big leagues. No, it starts far earlier.

Let’s take the talent-heavy baseball nation of Dominican Republic as an example. In a poverty-stricken country (Venezuela works just as well), baseball is just about the only way out for most kids. Hence, they play baseball 365 days a year for hours on end. Without a major league contract, a young Dominican entering the workplace can aspire to one day earn close to the nation’s average income of about $5,500 per year. But with the average MLB signing bonus for a Dominican player approaching $200,000 (and up to $4.5M for DR prospect and current Oakland A minor leaguer Michael Ynoa), why on Earth would a Dominican teenager NOT resort to steroids to better his chances to attain a life for himself? A few cycles of steroids can easily be the difference between doubles and home runs — the difference between a life on the streets and a MLB signing bonus– the difference between working for THIRTY YEARS in the DR and playing a half-season of minor league baseball in the US!

But we don’t need to look to the DR to find players juicing at young ages. We can start in our own back yards. With college tuition surpassing $200,000 for a 4-year private school, a college baseball scholarship is now worth about the same as a Dominican Republic MLB signing bonus! What’s going to stop a high school sophomore from running a few cycles of testosterone to gain an extra 5mph on his fastball or an extra 25 feet on his hitting distance? A lecture about the integrity of the game?

Let me try to control my laughter while I take in this capitalist irony: As parents, we’re going to preach to our children the need for a college education based on the fact that this education represents their best chance to earn a good living. We’re going to use every advantage we have in life — financial, social, and yes, chemical — to further our children’s chances to succeed, and then, when they have an opportunity to earn more in a month than we do in a lifetime, we’re going to preach to them about the integrity of the game?

Baseball has lost its integrity, and not because of the rampant use of steroids by every top player of the past twenty years. No, baseball lost its integrity by virtue of its laissez-faire attitude towards performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs). Players right out of high school and college are given multi-million dollar signing bonuses and guaranteed contracts without player scouts or management even asking about steroids. A Five-Tool (Hitting for Average, Fielding, Running, Throwing, Hitting for Power) player gets paid. A Six-Tool (plus steroids) player gets paid even more. It’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell all over again, except this is not the military excusing discrimination — it’s Major League Baseball excusing the use of PEDs.

Let’s face a cold, hard reality: We will only see a change in steroid use in baseball when the reasons NOT to use steroids outweigh the benefits of using them. When a first offense means not the loss of 3% of one’s income as in Ryan Braun’s case, but 97%. When a positive steroid test results in the VOIDING of a multi-million dollar contract or a LIFETIME suspension. When the financial risk of using anabolic steroids finally outweighs the financial reward.

Right now, Major League Baseball isn’t even close. The fans know it. The players know it. And Bud Selig knows it.

Somehow our Senior Editor Shane Ray was able to corral not just Craig Golias, but his incredibly hot and sexy girlfriend Gizel into sitting down for an interview. After leaving Prime Steakhouse and Goliath behind at the Bellagio, Shane hopped into his waiting limousine and headed straight for Spearmint Rhino, where he was ushered to a VIP table and served a complimentary bottle of Dom Perrignon. Minutes later, he was joined by Gizel, looking spectacularly smoking in a slinky gold dress that left little to the imagination.

In a world of figure, fitness and bikini girls spending their lives on Facebook, trying to get their protein shakes in and their bowel movements out, Gizel is a breath of fresh air — living the high life in both Vegas and NYC — unworried about her protein intake and insisting that she hasn’t pooped in nearly a decade. In short, Gizel Rodriguez is just our kind of girl. So much so, that if you read between the lines here, it actually looks like our dear Shane is trying to run some game on her. See for yourself!

MW:  Would you consider yourself a Sin City Las Vegas Girl or a Big Apple NYC Girl?

Gizel: I’m definitely a Big Apple girl .You can take the  girl out of NYC but you cant take NYC out of the girl!

MW: NY Mets fans or NY Yankees fan?

Gizel: I don’t watch sports.

MW: Have you ever gone out with Alex Rodriguez?

Gizel: Who? (Laughs)

MW: Alex Rodriguez? A-Rod? The dude who dates all the supermodels? Is he of any relation to you?

Gizel: No, but I wish he was!

MW:  Speaking of, you’re nickname is G-Rod. Did Alex steal that moniker from you?

Gizel: I dont think so.  My family calls me Gigi.

MW: That’s not so bad, Gigi.  Try having your family call you ‘Blockhead’.

Gizel: (Laughs) (Reaches out and strokes interviewer’s bald head) I think it’s cute.

MW: (Blushing) How long have you been modeling?

Gizel: Seven years.

MW: Is it something you always wanted to do?

Gizel: Not really…it was something that i just tried and it took a life of it own.

MW: Some of your pics out there are a little risque. Have you ever wanted to model for Playboy?

Gizel: I  think I’m too curvy for Playboy so no, I’ve never really thought seriously about trying out.

MW: Have you ever been to Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion?

Gizel: Yes, I have been there twice.

MW: Any Scott Baio or Pauly Shore stories?

Gizel: (Giggles) I promise to tell a story about one of them in my next interview!

MW: MuscleWeek is a bodybuilding-themed website. Do you normally find yourself attracted to bodybuilders or regular civilians?

Gizel: I like guys that take care of themselves and bodybuilders tend to do that.

MW: Do you mean a dude with some guns and a six pack or a massive muscle douche?

Gizel:  (Laughs) Well, I seem attract monsters! (Giggles) Maybe because my body is so over the top as well!

MW: I wouldn’t call it ‘over the top’ — but then again I’m used to dating strippers. So tell me, does anybody on MuscleWeek have ANY shot with you and if so who?

Gizel: I’m not so sure because you guys are always joking and none of you guys seem to take anything seriously. I want a man that knows when to make me laugh and knows when to get real.

MW:  Okay, I’m serious as a heart attack. Look into my eyes and tell me if you had to pick one of us, it would be me, right?

Gizel: (Blushing)

MW: What is the cheesiest pick-up line you have ever heard in a bar or club?

Gizel: Probably the one you just used! (Laughs)

MW: I can tell you’re falling for me, but I’m still on the fence about you. So tell me something about Gizel that not many people know about?

Gizel: I am very shy and quiet. People always think am this crazy girl because of my shoot and picture  and the way I carry myself when I am out but that’s just for work. It’s a persona  and not who I am when I’m home.

MW: Outside of glamour and the glamorous nightlife, tell us what else interests you?

Gizel: Spending time with my family and friends. Shopping, traveling, dinner, movies…I just love being home and playing with my three puppies.

MW: Do you have any obscure hobbies?

Gizel: I know this will sound weird but I love cleaning. I’m a clean freak!

MW: Then it’s definitely not gonna work out between us because I’m a dirty freak!

Gizel: (Laughs) You’re funny!

 MW: If you found a magic lamp and out came a Genie and he gave you ONE wish. What would that ONE WISH be?

Gizel: I would wish for a billion more wishes to make!

 MW: That’s pretty sneaky. I see what you did there. What was your highlight of 2011?

Gizel: Buying a house in New York.

 MW: Do you have any plans or goals for 2012?

Gizel: To take more time out to relax. 2011 was a very busy year for me.

 MW: You seem to travel a lot. Any places in the world you absolutely love to visit?

Gizel: Paris and Hawaii.

 MW: Are you coming to Chicago anytime soon?

Gizel: I haven’t been to Chicago in a long time but I’ll let you know when I’m coming back so you can take me out!

MW: Well I’m flattered,  but I’m engaged to be married so I’ll have to take a rain check on that.

Gizel: Engaged? What does she look like? Show me a photo!

MW: (Pulls up photo on Blackberry)

Gizel: Ohhhhh my. She’s so sexy!

MW: So tell me, if you were stranded on a desert island and had to bring with you only THREE ITEMS. Which items would they be?

Gizel: My iPhone. My puppies. And some Mint Creme Oreos!

MW: What is your favorite website?

Gizel: Gizel.net (laughs) and of course MuscleWeek!

________________________________________

So here’s the scoop — the interview was supposed to continue for another 15-20 minutes, but Shane being the PUA he is, chose to drop an Artificial Time Constraint (ATC) on Gizel and tell her that he had to interview Tera Patrick at the Venetian, so the interview was cut short in the name of Seduction. Regardless, Gizel is the exclusive Bikini Model of MuscleWeek and we’re happy to be able to spend quality time with such a quality woman.