At the 2008 Arnold Classic, while others forage for t-shirts and packets of protein powder samples to take home, I find inner peace and happiness refilling my 2 oz paper cup at the MuscleMilk potpourri booth of magical flavors.  As the dominant product that boasts superior taste, MuscleMilk has had little competition to date. But to my surprise, I found a worthy challenger in a 1 oz dixie cup at the Labrada booth. The Contender: Lean Body Protein Shake available in Vanilla, Banana, or Chocolate.

Finding the Banana flavor at full retail price at my local GNC and going against every rule of my existence, I forked over FOUR DOLLARS (!!!) to see if my pallet receptor memory was still intact. I twisted off the cool patented cap that magically broke the seal and lining and then took a swig.  Mmmmmmmm!!! Like a chemically-enhanced, laboratory-grown banana-pudding-turned-liquid, the flavor shot me a “Wassup, homey!” before gleefully gliding down my esophageal slide.

I tried to stretch my money by drinking half the box, but at just 11 ounces, that’s about as masculine as wondering if Bo and Hope will ever get back together. I did the only manly thing I’ve done this year and slammed down the rest of the box, making sure to throw in a “Hell Yeah!” and fist-pump just in case anyone was watching.

Sure, drinking a banana-flavored protein shake in a cute red and blue box might not label you as the Alpha-Male, but just imagine the confidence you’ll gain knowing that all 40 grams of protein are going straight to your muscles, even if it’s at your wallet’s expense.

Rating: **** (4) out of ***** (5)

Hey, FOUR BUCKS is almost enough gas money to get me home from GNC!

The taste was a little more old school than I expected. A little on the watery side with that slightly chemical taste that you don’t get from the Labrada and Musclemilk RTDs. They also come in cans as opposed to the more modern BPA cartons that the other brands are offering. The taste was somewhere between Chocolate and Vanilla but not really anything resembling Cookies n Cream, which is usually one of my favorite flavors for protein bars.

I paid about $6 bucks for 4 cans at Tarjay so if you don’t mind literally flushing $1.50 down the toilet an hour after ingestion in the hopes that a few micrograms somehow slipped into your brachialis muscle fibers, then by all means, head for the hills with the giant red bullseye.

Otherwise, save your money and buy six Strawberry Shortcake Pure Protein bars for the price of this four-pack. Or if you prefer to drink your protein out of a RTD package, stick with the old standbys.

Rating: ** (Two Stars) out of ***** (Five)