Muscleweek’s very own Senor Editor, Shane Ray has been one busy man. Between flying out to Las Vegas for nights on the town with Muscleweek sponsored model, Gizel Rodriguez and traveling the East Coast covering the Victor Martinez story it came as much relief when the Muscleweek Boss asked Shane if he would like to interview anybody in his hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Only one person came to mind: Erick Seng.

On Muscleweek’s expense account Shane Ray sat down with one of Chicago’s finest at Gibson’s Steak House on Rush st. where they dined on premium ribeye and New York strips while sipping on Merlot discussing the city, the Chicago Police Department and what bodybuilding means to Erick Seng himself. 

Officer Seng. Welcome to Muscleweek. First thing is first. How the heck did a St. Patrick’s (highschool) kid from Chicago’s Northside get into this whole mess of competitive bodybuilding? natural transgression from sports or was sand kicked in your face once at North Ave Beach. Like me. 

I’d say a natural transgression from sports. I was always active, but once I went to college (Western Illinois) and began to work at Powerhouse Gym (Elston&Lawrence) I got pulled into the world of bodybuilding. My first show was when I was a sophomore in college at 19, way back in 1997.

You’ve been very popular in the Chicagoland bodybuilding scene for a long time. What are your thoughts on the culture of the scene in the same city you protect? Is it as popular as it was during our glory years of 2001-2009?

LOL. I don’t think I’m popular or anything special! I just think of myself as a work-out guy who’s been competing for a long time! I think that bodybuilding isn’t as popular or hardcore as it was when I started. I remember Espn carrying the NPC National-level shows and Ifbb shows on television. The first time I saw Kevin Levrone on television was on Espn competing at the 1995 Olympia, and I was like I want to look like that! We used to have MuscleMag stores in the area to get your posing trunks and bodybuilding gear. We also actually had Powerhouse Gyms and Gnc’s that were actually geared towards bodybuilding. When I worked at the elston Powerhouse, we used to play the Mr.Olympias on all the t.v’s and you always had guys getting ready for either the Illinois or the Ironman. Those were the only 2 shows that mattered to anyone.

Now with Cross-Fit and things like MMA, it seems like the fitness industry is blowing up, but the old-school bodybuilding gym guys are kind of dying off. You don’t have the hardcore guys around in one gym. You don’t have the gym characters like the Mike Hamilton’s or Sam Urbach’s of the world.  You don’t have guys that were really hardcore with their training… Now a days it’s a bunch people jumping around, punching bags, using ropes and doing some weird shit to get in shape!

What are your best memories as a bodybuilder? I remember you standing next to being compared to Phil Heath at the 2005 Jr. Nationals. I’d have to say that was one of them, right? 

Yeah, I’d have to say getting 3rd at the Juniors in ’05 and getting called out in the first call out with just Heath was probably the best bodyduilding moment. I remember it like yesterday and I think that was obviously my best look I’ve ever had on stage. I’d say winning the Overall at the Ironman in 06 was big for me because that was always such a big deal with the guys I worked out with. If you won the Overall at the Illinois or the Ironman you were a good bodybuilder and gained a little gym cred. The other big thing for me was shooting for Muscle n Fitness. I remember reading the magazines when I first started, and to actually see myself in an issue was pretty cool. I was so lucky to get that opportunity.

Erick. You are endorsed by MHP. How has Gerard Dente and his company treated you all of this time? What do you like most about the company?  

Gerard Dente is one of the best people I’ve ever met in the fitness industry. He has always been great to me and treated me like family since I met him in 2002. I was super lucky to meet him and get the opportunity to be in some ads and work for them on the side. I feel like I have a second set of family and friends with the guys in New Jersey that work for MHP. The best part about MHP is that I really live off their products and stand behind them! Gerard always puts out products that not only work, but really benefit the serious athlete. I bleed blue and yellow!

It is no secret that you are a Chicago Police Officer. For those reading this who doesn’t know Chicago like we do is The City of Big Shoulders as dangerous as it’s reputation? Media hype or lock your car doors no matter which neighborhood you drive through? 

I always say that things can happen in any place at anytime. In any big city, you’ll always have your good parts and shady parts. Chicago obviously has some rough areas, but its about being aware of your surroundings at all times. If you’re on the west or south sides of Chicago, you obviously have to keep your eyes open. But on the other hand, compared to some of the other cities I’ve had the chance to visit like Detroit, Newark, parts of L.A. and Miami, I’d say that Chicago on the whole is safe and one of the best cities in the world.

What made you want to be a police officer? Please don’t tell me because Ronnie Coleman once was.

No. I’ve always wanted to work for Chicago. I’ve had family and life-long friends that were on the job, and its just something I’ve always wanted to do since I can remember.

Erick. Most serious competitive bodybuilders would rather not work a job like being a cop in a big city nor not even hold down a job at all for that matter just so they can strictly focus on their protein intake and their next workout. How were you not able to get sucked into the scene so hard like many we know and keep yourself so level headed putting a career in front of their next show?

It’s what you make of it and how you approach the sport. If you want to go out and put everything into becoming a pro, do it. I would never discourage anyone from doing anything they want to pursue as far as a career choice. You have to do what makes you happy, but at the same time, you have to keep things in perspective and be smart about the decisions you make. If you’re someone that has horrible genetics and $20 in your savings, making a run at the Ifbb might not be the best route for you. Bodybuilding and working out is a passion of mine, but it’s a hobby to me first and foremost. I think by having my career and bodybuilding as hobby, they both automatically balance out my life because neither takes it over completely!

I have to imagine dieting for a show and working long days through a long work week is tough. Believe me, I know. How do you get through a prep when timing is essentially everything. It isn’t like you can tell your sargent to hold while you get in your next meal. How do you adapt? 

Dieting is hard period. It can be a little tougher with work, but I try not to let it bother me and just roll with the punches. Everyone I have worked for and with have always been beyond supportive. They’ve encouraged me to do my best and have looked out for my well being! If it gets tough, I always say that I’m competing and dieting because I WANT to compete. No one is forcing you to diet, so why be an asshole and make everyone around you miserable.

Some of your critics have said you could never win a pro card due to the nature of your job. What do you have to say about that?

I’m at the point now in my life where I’m a little older. Competing is even more for fun me now and a tool to motivate myself in the gym. It’s pretty much going to be the Team U, or the masters in a couple years, or some local stuff. If it ever happened great, if it doesn’t great,  but I wouldn’t say it’s the nature of the job as to why I didn’t max out my potential! There’s so many things that go into that process you could never give one reason as to why it happened or why it didn’t. I’ve had a blast with bodybuilding and if I never competed ever again, I’d be happy with what I’ve been able to accomplish!

On the topic of challenges. You are a married man who has a wife also involved with the bodybuilding industry and is a competitor herself. She is also a detective with the Chicago Police Department. Describe how that can be challenging. Ever any fights over the last chicken breast or have you found a way to keep the ship smooth sailing without any “competitive turbulance”. 

There’s never competitive turbulance. I’m the type of guy that doesn’t like drama and will be the last one to start a fight. I think of myself as a very chill and laid back person. You could take the last chicken breast, and you wouldn’t hear a peep outta me! I’d just buy some more food and start cooking!
Facebook is infested to the gills with every weirdo, creeper, schmoe and pervert in the galaxy. Do you often receive private e-mails from these types with bizarre requests or propositions? How do you handle them?

I’ve always gotten weird emails from people all over the world, especially when I was younger and just starting out. I just ignore them, or say thanks but no thanks.

How does the police force treat you because of your size? Sorry but most COPS I see are bloated sacks of shit. Are you the guy they send in first when a door is broken down or when your team has to apprehend a suspect?

Everyone with the force has always been cool and respectful with me. I don’t think of myself as some huge guy though, but I am the “ram” guy for my team when it comes to search warrants which means that I’m the guy breaking down the door! It’s a lot of fun and a rewarding career.

I have to imagine your stature and muscularity can serve you well in your line of work. Has anybody ever surrendered to you immediately or do you find that people you may have to arrest want to step to you more and challenge you to prove something? 

I’ve had both situations. Usually when someone really doesn’t want to go back to jail, it doesn’t matter how big, fast or strong you are, they’re going to run and fight their ass off not to get caught!

Some argue bodybuilding at the higher levels of competition are so over the top with dabbling in illegal activities and using boatloads of illicit drugs. Can one even compete and be competitive anymore these days without it?

I think with what the Pro’s look like, that question kind of answers itself with a probably not. That’s the huge moral question people have to answer if they want to compete competitively at the higher levels of the sport.

What are your thoughts on Men’s Physique? Lots of guys are making the switch and rightfully so. You once told me a judge recently suggested you make the flip and de-muscle a little. Where do you stand with that?

That was brought to my attention last year, but I don’t think that it would be for me. That being said, if someone in the gym came up to me and said they wanted to do Physique, I would say cool and be supportive of that person. It’s a way for the promoters and organization to make more money, and it gives people an option to compete and get in shape with the way the want to look. So even though it’s not me, you won’t hear me bash it either.

Do you work with a nutritionist or do you pretty much do everything yourself?

Yeah I’ve worked with Dr. Willes Ko, my friend, chiropractor and training partner! He is unbelievable with diets and training. I’ve done diets for others and for myself, with me having more success helping others. I think when you do the diet yourself, you over think things and over diet or slack. When someone is advising you, the stress is taken out which makes it easier!

Okay. Who in the industry gets your “blood flowing”. For me it is still Monica Brant. I know there has to be someone that does it for you. 

That’s an easy one, my wife Michele Wood…. Back in the day I remember a girl named Brandy Dahl who was in all the mags, who looked good, but I don’t think she competed.

Supplements. Which are your 3 staples you always use?

MHP- Dark Matter for post workout
MHP- Isofast for my isolate
MHP- Probolic for my night time protein!

Where does Erick Seng see himself in 5 years?

Well, I’d like to be happy, healthy and injury free with hopefully a growing family!

So what is next for you? Rumors around XSport tell me that Team Universe or the 2012 North Americans in on your agenda.

No plans… Yet
Is there anything you would like to promote? How would one contact you for endorsements or any opportunity?

Facebook is probably the easiest way to contact me, and MHP has a sick new pre-workout called Fit-x “trainer” and post workout product called Fit-x “power”… Check out getmhp.com!

Bonus Questions.

Favorite Movie:  I have a ton and I don’t think I could name one, but the last good movie I saw was “Drive”, it was a bad-ass flick.

Favorite Chicago Restaurant:  Uncle Juilio’s Hacienda on North Ave and Clybourn

Favorite Song:  Another hard one, but I’ve always been a house music guy. I’d say my favorite three artists right now are Deadmau5, Wolfgang Gartner and Skrillex, who are kind of electro-dubstep-house guys!

Favorite Gym:  Gold’s Gym Venice California

Favorite Exercise:  Deadlifts 

Sox or Cubs:  Cubs

Deep Dish Pizza or Thin Slice:  Absolutely Deep Dish!!!!!

Part I

In the bodybuilding world this guy needs no introduction. For the CrossFit and Functional Fitness peeps, let me get you up to speed.

Patrick Arnold or PA as I like to refer to him is an east coast native. He’s an organic chemist who specializes in the research and development of sports supplementation. This guy is to supplements what Robb Wolf is to Paleo, what Greg Glassman is to CrossFit, what Jared is to Subway, and what the Polish are to sausages. As synonymous as Mark McGwire is to home runs! You get the picture.

Funny story actually,  Mark McGwire probably wouldn’t have achieved that record setting season if he didn’t have a little help from the research and development of Patrick Arnold. Patrick introduced the supplement industry to Androstenedione (Andro), which just so happened to be the prohormone Mark McGwire was taking during his record setting season.

Not only that, this dude is so ridiculously passionate about chemistry he actually translated research written in German which led him to develop a designer steroid called tetrahydrogestrinone (THG), more commonly referred to as, “The Clear.”

I know what some of the crossfit purists are thinking right now. The supplement Mark McGwire took was illegal (heaven forbid), and THG was the undetectable steroid that tarnished the career of several Olympic athletes and ignited the BALCO scandal around 2003 after a syringe with trace amounts was obtained and a test was developed in the UCLA Olympic Analytical Laboratory. Holy shit right?

Marion Jones

Put any thoughts of judgment and emotion aside for just one minute now, and hear me out. Let’s look at this objectively. Patrick was just a guy with a lot of drive to unearth tools in performance that had never been used before. He worked hard to achieve elite status through unconventional and innovative methods. Sound familiar?

When Patrick introduced Andro it wasn’t illegal. Shit, I remember in high school everyone was taking it including my dorky, super skinny, stoner friend Senone. Senone, Jesse, and I would train at the YMCA after school 5 days a week and talk supplements. I believe I was taking this awful fat burner called Agent Orange and Jesse was taking good ole’ creatine fartohydrate. Those were the days! In hindsight as much as I scoff to admit it, Senone was the smartest out of all of us. Long story short, the FDA caught wind that it worked and banned it. I’ll save the discussion of pharmaceuticals, supplements, OTC drugs, and the FDA for another day.

Victor Conte

As far as the steroids go let me just disclose a bit about Patrick’s character. He made something truly remarkable and excitedly sold it. He didn’t sedate people and inject them with steroids without their consent.  He got busted and went to prison. He took full responsibility, did his time, and kept his mouth shut. He never sold out, rolled, or squealed on anyone and its 10 years later. The same can’t be said for the BALCO founder Victor Conte who bought the THG for distribution. That isn’t exactly shocking. Anyone who’s watched Pineapple Express and Breaking Bad knows you never trust a drug dealer.

Patrick on the Outside

Undeterred post prison Patrick continued his work in the supplement industry legally. He HAS to be legal or he gets the hose again. Plus he welcomes a challenge. How can he put out products that work with the resources he’s got? It hasn’t come without setbacks. Patrick has continued to put out quality supplements that work even with the DEA jammed so uncomfortably far up his ass the man forever walks funny. So far in fact that one day they took it upon themselves to seize and raid his beautiful 40,000 sq. ft lab and manufacturing facility in 2009 because a couple of baseball players failed a drug test and blamed it on Patrick’s new product called 6-OXO.

The product sample was tested and found to be insufficient in producing a positive drug test, but the damage was done. The lab was destroyed, and all the equipment. Patrick’s proverbial Ferrari went to auction. He was left standing in the rubble with a heavy heart, swallowing another emotional set back, and 6-OXO was pulled off the market.  So long to another effective supplement. May it rest in peace.

These are circumstances that would make an ordinary man throw in the towel and pick a new profession, but Patrick and his business partner Lakhan Boodram continue their work slowly rebuilding with very little capital. I have asked Patrick on more than one occasion. What the hell man? Why don’t you just write a book about the industry, steroids, and debauchery, or go make six figures for an oil company?… something! His answer is simple and the same every time. “Because I’ll never sell out, I can’t imagine doing anything else, and I’ll never leave my business partner hanging.” I don’t blame the guy one bit. That whole book thing didn’t work out so well for Conseco.

It’s admirable to run across honest people that are in a business so cloaked with scandal and exceeding the allowable per capita of swindlers, hustlers, cheaters, liars, and narcissists. The guy is just a good human. The cool thing about Patrick is he’s one of us. He’s approachable and down to earth, and in addition to being a supplement savant, the man actually knows a thing or two about training.

Stay tuned for the interview half of this series where I have Patrick weigh in on training, what he thinks about CrossFit, supplemental things, and a few shenanigans including the cat outside his lab that’s stalking him and possibly some dating advice for fitness minded ladies (wish me luck there). Feel free to check him out anytime at patrickarnoldblog.com.

By XfitSpin

MuscleWeek: We want to thank you so much Patrick for taking the time for this interview. We really appreciate it. Jumping right in, what inspired you to start bodybuilding?

PA: I started when I was quite young because my grandfather had some old York Barbell weights that he gave to us kids (me and my brothers). I didn’t know too much about weightlifting back then. We bought a book or two and started doing the exercises we found in there. After Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder came out we became big fans of Arnold. Then our training became more sophisticated. We eventually bought a bench and made a gym in our cellar. I also remember that my mom got Prevention Magazine. I’m not even sure if it’s still in publication.

MW: I think it is actually.

PA: Really? Huh. Well, anyway, it got me interested in supplements and the nutritional aspects of training.

MW: So, when you were a teenager just out of high school, going to college. What in the world made you decide to go into Chemistry?

PA: I originally wanted to go into Pharmacy. I was really interested in drugs. How drugs could heal people, and how they worked in the body. I did well in Chemistry in High School and I enjoyed making stuff in lab during class.

MW: What was your first job out of college?

PA: I took a job during college at a company called Uniroyal. It’s a chemical company. I worked as a lab tech in a work study program. I made polymers and polymer precursors. It was really messy and included nasty chemicals.

After I finished school I got a job at a company called GAF which changed its name to ISP and now has a different name. I’m not sure what it is. I worked in a lab and did research mostly for the cosmetic industry. Polymers once again. You know, products that go into hair gels and conditioners. It was boring but I learned a lot about analytical and synthesis techniques.

I had a decent lab and access to other labs and there was a Chemical Library on our floor. That’s where I started looking up all the chemical compositions of steroids and bodybuilding drugs. Since my job was really boring and my boss was never around I started making whatever I wanted, and I’d come back at night and work on stuff. People started catching on. I got caught and lost my job, but I made all kinds of drugs, bodybuilding related and otherwise. Anything I wanted to make I looked it up and figured it out.

After I lost my job I returned to CT and got into the PhD program for Organic Synthesis at UConn. At that time I started fooling around on the internet. This was around 1995 when it was relatively new. I met a lot of people on there like Dan Duchaine, Will Brink, and Bruce Kneller.

MW: Oh Wow! I actually had a question later about how you met Dan. There it is.

PA: I feel like I’m giving you a total biography. Do you want me to keep going?

MW: Definitely, but I’ll ask you a few more things for this interview specifically.

PA: Yeah, maybe you could make the bio into a separate post or something.

MW: That sounds like a great idea. Okay, serious question. If you could go back in time to when Duchaine was still alive knowing what you know now, what would you say to him?

PA: I think I would just tell him that people appreciated very much what he’s done and he inspired a lot of people. I enjoyed working with him, but he was obviously a very tortured man, and I wish that I could have helped him in some way.

MW: What are you working on right now?

PA: I’m doing some very exciting work with ketones. I’m collaborating with a top researcher in that area.

MW: That sounds exciting! Crossfitters love ketones. Probably not like Dave Palumbo loves ketones, but in what capacity?

PA: Products that raise levels of ketones in the body.

MW: What are your goals for Epharm in 2013?

PA: I’m doing a lot of work with natural products like Ursolic acid and I also have a direct sales brand called Prototype Nutrition. I also have a Ursolic acid derivative with high bioavailability that I made into a topical. That is probably my most exciting product right now. It’s all natural and great for losing fat, maintaining muscularity, and endurance. It’s called Ur Spray and is sold through Prototype Nutrition. I also have a version sold through Epharm called Pump Spray.

MW: So, I know you personally don’t Crossfit, but what are your thoughts on the subject?

PA: I saw it awhile ago on ESPN actually. My understanding is that it’s very aerobic, varied, high intensity training. From a cardio fitness aspect it’s probably great, but as far as gaining proficiency at a certain exercise, it’s counterproductive. With crossfit you have to try and learn a million exercises at the same time. However, in order to be good at a complex exercise technique like a power clean you have to build neural pathways by doing the same movements consistently and somewhat exclusively for a while.

MW: Well, they do say they specialize in not specializing, but you think this can actually be a negative thing?

PA: I think Crossfit actually confuses the body to where you’re not proficient at lifts, or it takes you a lot longer to gain that proficiency. I wouldn’t recommend it to beginners. There are too many complex movements that need some dedication to develop the proper technique. Doing something like a snatch when you’ve already done other things, and you’re exhausted, and your form isn’t that great is very dangerous. For someone that knows how to do all the exercises, well I think it’s a good system and people get a hell of a workout.

MW: I agree. I get asked frequently at Crossfit about how to improve one specific movement. I always say, you have to do it, and do it often. You can’t just do it when it pops up once a month in a WOD. For women especially, building that upper body strength takes some serious work and a band won’t get you there in any timely fashion. Anyway, off my soap box.

MW: What are 3 supplements you recommend for anyone training at high intensity 2-5x a week?

PA: I would suggest a protein supplement. Definitely a Multivitamin/Multimineral. Fish Oil obviously, because people who train hard are subject to injury and inflammation that could hinder performance.

I would also add caffeine. It enhances the utilization of fatty acids for fuel, speeds up glycogen replacement after exercise, and decreases perceived exertion and pain during exercise. Not everyone enjoys the effects of stimulants however, and some have personal reasons for avoiding caffeine.

MW: What are your thoughts on the presence of performance enhancing drugs in Crossfit? Is it naïve to think people aren’t cycling in the off season and then coming off to compete in Regionals and the Games?

PA: Whenever there is a substantial reward – a financial reward -there’s going to be people that cheat to win. It’s that way in any sport. There’s no reason to believe that crossfit would be immune to this, especially since its foundation is around weightlifting. These drugs are so engrained in the weight/gym culture that there’s bound to be some people who use them to their advantage. Plus, they’re so easy to use since they only have in-competition testing. If they want to get rid of drugs in the sport I would say stop giving people money when they win.

MW: LOL, that’s kind of funny. I could just see Dave Castro going “Hey crossfitters, I was just kidding about that 250k purse you’ve been gunning for all year.”

PA: If they want to get serious they need to do off season testing like the Olympic anti-doping agencies and model their protocols and use their laboratories. This would be very expensive to implement and I don’t know how crossfitters would feel about it.

MW: There’s an argument out there that steroids or EPO would actually hinder a crossfitter’s performance. What is your response to that?

PA: Track and Field athletes have benefited exponentially from using these drugs. Crossfit wouldn’t be any different. Overuse of anabolic steroids certainly can hinder performance by leading to tightness and excess water retention, and just like in track and field a crossfitter would need to carefully manipulate their drug intake to avoid the negatives.

MW: Muscle Weeker with the screen name “Bruce Berkowitz” wants to know if you ever hear from Bruce Kneller?

PA: Yeah, he just sent me an invitation on LinkedIn. I tried his new protein at the Olympia and I thought it was pretty good. I don’t really compete with him in the industry anymore so we don’t butt heads like we used to.

MW: MuscleWeek Senior Editor Shane Ray wants to know what your thoughts are on SARMS? Before you answer that, what exactly are SARMS?

PA: Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators. Basically, they are the same thing as anabolic steroids but they’ve been designed using computer aided molecular modeling. These models create structures that bind and activate the androgen receptor, which is essentially what steroids do. However these structures are completely different than the classic four fused rings structures of steroids.

In theory the people that developed them thought they would produce the same effect as anabolic steroids while simultaneously avoiding unwanted side effects. Some animal studies suggested this, but the human studies do not. Similar to anabolic steroids they still disrupt your body’s hormone regulation. They also increase liver enzymes and produce abnormalities in blood lipid profiles. Despite their efforts using sophisticated drug design techniques, the developers still can’t really differentiate between therapeutic and toxic effects any more than what was achieved decades ago with anabolic steroids

One interesting aspect is that no one ever uses the word steroids with them. Are they going to be scheduled as anabolic steroids? As it stands presently they’re in a gray area legally. If they become available drugs they’ll be used in patients with age related sarcopenia and cancer, cachexia and what not. I would think at that point they will need to be scheduled because they’ll be abused as steroids are.

MW: Shane also wants to know if you think legal supplements will ever be as good as they were prior to 2004 or the age of prohormones?

PA: No. Unless some monumental discovery is made, but aliens might land here someday too.

MW: Another MuscleWeeker asked what your thoughts are on Lance Armstrong?

PA: I feel as though he was made a scapegoat. He was singled out and it’s sad to see a hero fall like that. I think it’s a little unfair they would go to such extremes to catch him when they didn’t do that to anyone else. Although, I also think he was a fool to continue to compete even though he was being suspected more and more. He was pushing his luck and snubbing his nose at the testing people. If he just retired in 04’ or something he would have been the best ever, but since he didn’t, he made himself more and more vulnerable.

MW: The craziest thing you’ve ever seen at the Olympia or Arnold Classic?

PA: I’m going to have to get back to you on that. I’ve seen a lot.

MW: What is the coolest thing a fan has ever sent you?

PA: Someone sent me a watch once and a board rep just sent me some cookies and fudge, and hot dipping sauce for Christmas. I also get letters from people in prison asking me to help them get out. I guess that’s interesting, but I obviously can’t help them.

MW: If you had any dating advice for women who compete in figure/bikini/bodybuilding or even crossfit, what would it be?

PA: When I go to the shows and see the really serious fitness and figure girls, they’re usually dating guys that train them, are also bodybuilders, or men they most likely met at the gym. Their lives are so extreme they probably couldn’t co-exist with someone not in the same lifestyle. If I were a girl I’d shoot for a more interesting life and look for someone that may not be as into competing, perhaps an intellectual. A fitness girl has to look at her practical needs yes, but she also shouldn’t restrict her life to being a hermit and making her whole existence about training, broccoli, and tanning.

MW: I think so too. Thanks so much Patrick, always a pleasure.

PA: You’re welcome.

You can check Patrick out at www.patrickarnoldblog.com

Patrick’s products are sold through www.prototypenutrition.com and www.epharmnutrition.com

If you have your own questions you can track him down on his Q&A threads at http://www.prohormoneforum.com/q-patrick-arnold/ and http://anabolicminds.com/forum/advanced-discussion-patrick/

I hear people rambling on about quality protein and nonsense like that. Back in the 70′s everyone including Arnold used Calcium Caseinate (Milk Protein) and those guys looked insane (Mentzer, Platz, Padilla, Robinson). Then in the 80′s, Egg Albumin (Egg protein) became the rage. Remember? Perfect 4.0 protein on the quality protein scale they’d show you on the Weider container?

Then soy protein made a brief comeback and now it’s whey protein. But not just whey protein. No, of course it has to be more complicated. Whey protein isolate works ‘much better’ than whey protein concentrate (yeah right) which is superior to the perfect egg protein which is better than soy which is better than the milk protein that built all of the guys that today’s crop of oilbags can’t hold a candle to.

In every industry, they have product cycles that last anywhere from 1-7 years. When the cycle has been exhausted, they reinvent the wheel. What’s outdated becomes fresh. What’s old is new. What’s forgotten is suddenly remembered.

A close friend of mine ran global product development for a major cosmetics company for ten years. It was IDENTICAL to the supplement biz right down to how they prey upon the ignorance, the hopes, the short memory, and the vanity of the consumer.

Let’s take a product like foundation that all women use to mask their freckles, acne, blotches and other facial imperfections. You could buy maybelline foundation for $5 a bottle. Or you could buy Loreal foundation for $15 a bottle. If you are rich, you might buy Lancome for $50 a bottle. But it really doesn’t matter because it’s all made in the same factory, formulated in the same lab, and contains the same ingredients. The only difference is the packaging and the marketing.

Do women know this? Many of them do. But they would always still buy Lancome over Maybelline. Even knowing it’s the identical product, they will still prefer to purchase the more expensive product. Why? Because of how it makes them feel INSIDE to spend more money, have a nicer looking product, and know that Catherine Zeta Jones wears the same product as they do.

All of us KNOW that bodybuilders today look WORSE than the bodybuilders of the 70′s and 80′s. Despite having BETTER EQUIPPED GYMS. Despite having MORE KNOWLEDGE. Despite having ACCESS TO MORE INFORMATION.

But are today’s SUPPLEMENTS really any better or superior to those from the 70′s and 80′s?

Because we KNOW that today’s bodybuilders are eating MORE PROTEIN, shooting MORE STEROIDS, using MORE INSULIN, and pinning themselves with MORE GROWTH HORMONE.

We buy the WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE and any other shiny supplement for the same reasons a girl buys Lancome. We REALLY REALLY want to believe that’s how Jay Cutler got so big. We REALLY REALLY want to believe we too can get HUGE or RIPPED if we take this product.

But I challenge you to use Google Images to set your mind straight. Look at photos of the bodybuilders of the 70′s who were using a fraction of today’s drugs. Tom Platz’s legs built WITHOUT a PRE WORKOUT FORMULA. Danny Padilla’s physique built WITHOUT an NO ‘supplement and Arnold’s chest and arms built WITHOUT any of this WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE garbage.

Gentlemen, we have been fooled to the 99th degree. The supplement companies took a page out of the women’s playbook that feeds upon a woman’s innate insecurity and they used that play on us.

Today’s bodybuilders look worse than ever before. You’d be hard pressed to find ANY BODYBUILDER in ANY GYM with a dense quality physique as seen on Mentzer back in the day.

And for you modern day guys, make no mistake: Our very own KEVIN LEVRONE NEVER USED ANY SUPPLEMENTS. NOTHING!

I challenge each and every one of you to THROW OUT YOUR WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE. Or at least put it away in the garage or basement (don’t worry, the bugs won’t go near it). Double your milk intake, eat your chicken breasts and fish and continue eating your eggs. Try it for 30 days and tell me if you got weaker. Tell me if you got smaller. Because YOU WON’T!!

Take the MuscleWeek Protein Challenge and report back to us with your results.

This challenge could save you THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS over your lifetime and THOUSANDS OF HOURS in shopping and cleaning protein shakers.

Gentlemen, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Will you accept the PROTEIN CHALLENGE?

“I’m going to review your bar and put it on the net,” I warn them, “so pick your best flavor.”

Like Donald Trump and his cronies on The Apprentice, the dorkasaurus and the two unattractive women at the booth briefly put their three ugly Cerberus heads together and announce, “Almond Caramel Crunch” in unison. I stare at them suspiciously for a moment. And then it hits me. Holy fuckwits, Batman! How the hell did the three ugliest people in the entire building all wind up in the same booth? Are they too cheap to shell out $50 for a hot fitness skank with implants and a thong to stand there for ten hours?

I bite into the bar, with these three people now staring intently at my mouth as it chews. And chews. And chews. The bar sticks to every corner of my mouth. I continue chewing as my eyes frantically search for a bottle of anything to wash this shit down. Mr. Propecia seems to sense my desperation but for some strange reason feels compelled to offer up a cheerful “We’re the best-selling bar in the country right now!”

“Manks a fumkin lot,” I reply. Here I am practically choking on his shitty bar, wondering what an improvement it will make when I spit it out onto his face, and this twink has the nerve to fabricate some phony sales statistics. For fuck’s sake, if this piece of insoluble dog crap is the best-selling protein bar in the country, Obama has fucked up America even worse than I thought.

With great determination and effort, I somehow get down the last of the bar and spend a few moments trying to trigger my saliva glands to get the remnants of this sludge down my esophagus. I sense that my audience senses my disappointment. They don’t even offer a full bar or suggest a different flavor for me to try. ‘FAIL’ is written all over their faces.

I quickly place the odds that in precisely one year the three of them will be unemployed at exactly 2:1.

Rating: ** (Two Stars) out of ***** (five)

I’ve tasted worse but never in the presence of such misplaced pride in a crappy product.

At the 2008 Arnold Classic, while others forage for t-shirts and packets of protein powder samples to take home, I find inner peace and happiness refilling my 2 oz paper cup at the MuscleMilk potpourri booth of magical flavors.  As the dominant product that boasts superior taste, MuscleMilk has had little competition to date. But to my surprise, I found a worthy challenger in a 1 oz dixie cup at the Labrada booth. The Contender: Lean Body Protein Shake available in Vanilla, Banana, or Chocolate.

Finding the Banana flavor at full retail price at my local GNC and going against every rule of my existence, I forked over FOUR DOLLARS (!!!) to see if my pallet receptor memory was still intact. I twisted off the cool patented cap that magically broke the seal and lining and then took a swig.  Mmmmmmmm!!! Like a chemically-enhanced, laboratory-grown banana-pudding-turned-liquid, the flavor shot me a “Wassup, homey!” before gleefully gliding down my esophageal slide.

I tried to stretch my money by drinking half the box, but at just 11 ounces, that’s about as masculine as wondering if Bo and Hope will ever get back together. I did the only manly thing I’ve done this year and slammed down the rest of the box, making sure to throw in a “Hell Yeah!” and fist-pump just in case anyone was watching.

Sure, drinking a banana-flavored protein shake in a cute red and blue box might not label you as the Alpha-Male, but just imagine the confidence you’ll gain knowing that all 40 grams of protein are going straight to your muscles, even if it’s at your wallet’s expense.

Rating: **** (4) out of ***** (5)

Hey, FOUR BUCKS is almost enough gas money to get me home from GNC!

Nonetheless, on this particular day in which my better half was lost in the cornucopia of the Mall’s teen clothing stores, I found myself walking past the GNC for the fourth time and decided to have a gander inside. I effortlessly sneaked past the Jay Cutler Hydroxycut display (regularly $89.99 but now $81.99!!) and asked the aforementioned sales clerk what products were selling. Predictably, he replied: “Well the Hydroxycut is always popular but it also really works!” Embarassed by both his inability to conjure up an original thought and the idea that I appeared no wiser than his typical mark, I looked down at the display of protein bars in shame. To my surprise, I saw several bars bearing orange price stickers indicating major price reductions. While I typically scoff at the idea of paying $3.50 for 30g of protein, I have no objections to completing the same purchase at a much lower price point. So when I saw two Muscletech Peanut Butter protein bars marked down to $0.75 cents each, I seized the day and plunked down my Platinum Amex (hey I’m not a cash-carrying kinda guy).

I figured that with its R&D budget exceeding the GNP of most third world countries, Muscletech would have mastered the basics of a quality protein bar — great taste, good texture, and the right combination of chew-ability and saliva-solubility.

Sadly, I was mistaken. I took a bite of the overly salty chocolike coated bar and chewed. And chewed. And kept chewing. Problem was nothing was happening! I actually picked up the bar and read the label again to make sure I hadn’t accidentally picked up Muscletech’s new Protein Bubblegum bar or something that I was expected to chew for several hours. Peanut butter doesn’t lend itself to many great beverage combinations, so I opened my fridge and quickly settled on my son’s whole milk to wash it down. Halfway through the bar, I stopped bothering to chew. It was pointless. This wasn’t a protein bar — it was the world’s largest protein pill.

I took another bite and downed another gulp of milk to help it bypass the peristalsis and go straight into my stomach where presumably, it would continue its resistance to acidic juices before winding its way through my intestines and vacating my colon in its original form. Had I either the time or inclination to do so, I’d send my bowel movement to the Muscletech labs for them to remove the intact piece and recycle it in a new bar, at least to give someone else a shot at obtaining some benefit from my purchase.

Rating: * (One Star) (at $0.75) out of ***** (Five Stars)

Ed. Note: Subtract the entire star if paying retail. Beach sand is free.

The taste was a little more old school than I expected. A little on the watery side with that slightly chemical taste that you don’t get from the Labrada and Musclemilk RTDs. They also come in cans as opposed to the more modern BPA cartons that the other brands are offering. The taste was somewhere between Chocolate and Vanilla but not really anything resembling Cookies n Cream, which is usually one of my favorite flavors for protein bars.

I paid about $6 bucks for 4 cans at Tarjay so if you don’t mind literally flushing $1.50 down the toilet an hour after ingestion in the hopes that a few micrograms somehow slipped into your brachialis muscle fibers, then by all means, head for the hills with the giant red bullseye.

Otherwise, save your money and buy six Strawberry Shortcake Pure Protein bars for the price of this four-pack. Or if you prefer to drink your protein out of a RTD package, stick with the old standbys.

Rating: ** (Two Stars) out of ***** (Five)